martial arts, steampunk, and intrigue.

Well hello! I haven't written in quite awhile... my apologies for that. But I honestly am not feeling frustrated with myself for neglecting my blog - I have been working through some tough things by myself and have needed to keep them close to my heart.


There are many things that I want to mention in today's post, so I best use a bullet point form, or I might ramble too much!!

• Writing - Oh JOY OF JOYS. I have started writing again. A continuous story, no less!! I have not shared the story itself with anyone other than my dear Xin, but I'm so pleased with myself for continuing on with it. I'm even doing research!! Who knew that research could be so much fun?! I vaguely recall thinking that about two years ago, but then it all got lost in sludge. (not literally of course.) Anyway, I'm so chuffed to have started up again, and it's giving me new purpose and glee!
• Books - one of my true loves. I have recently attained the next book in one of my favourite series (was only released OFFICIALLY on July 1st, but I got it earlier than that! ^_^) and it's restored so much love into my imagination and my soul. I wouldn't call it a great literary work of fiction or anything like that, but it's simply delicious. ^_^ Yay! It's also inspired a line of research that I'm following up right this minute! ^_^
• Life/Career/Study - these topics have sort of been intertwined lately, and they're probably the ones that give me the most stress. I have been rather ...blue about my future prospects. My interest in my course has been dwindling somewhat, and I need to choose a next route for my studies - all of the options seem to leave me with a large brick in my stomach. There is one tiny, sweet, little hope that I hold in my heart, which a couple of my friends know of, but I can barely allow it out into the light for fear of it vanishing into smoke. Anyway, the tiny, sweet thing is still there, giving me hope (and anxiety occasionally XD) so I'm going to do a tentative search into that over the next couple of weeks. Uni starts up again soon, so I'll do my best to throw myself into my studies, while maintaining my writing and tiny sweet thing. ^_^ There's still not much force behind the idea of me returning to any form of work (there's another tiny sweet thing here for an ideal job I'd like, but getting started on that seems so far away and difficult right now..), so I'm just trying to keep myself occupied and happy.
• Bronte - my gorgeous girl has been a bit sick lately - she managed to scavenge some food from somewhere which gave her the most awful stomach infection. But she's been on antibiotics for three days, and is much better and seems to be back to her happy self once more! [cheers from the background]
• Stuck - still working through it. Most of it relates to some mundane things, but some relates to some huge things. I haven't been moving much on some of this lately... But I will sometime. Promise.

I may write some VPA's later on today or tomorrow, but at this point I just need some thinking and reading time. Love!

Leave a Comment brontë, love, study

fairies, flooshes, and naming.

you know, facebook really isn't a good place to try and talk about your issues with life. people immediately start thinking of you as someone who shares too much, or someone who whines a lot. or maybe the don't, but that's what it feels like.
the thing is, with some of the stuff I'm having to deal with lately, I need a decent outlet to talk these things out without making an exhibition of myself. I do have my own personal writing and journalling, but sometimes that's not enough. sometimes this is what a blog is for. plus it helps me to present what's happening in a more eloquent way than blurting it out in a 420-character-limit status update.


my health has been exceedingly frustrating lately. more so than usual. I'm flirting with the idea of going back to see my doctor for yet another diagnosis - this time of mild fibromyalgia. please look here for more information...
anyway, I've been dealing with constant pain and lethargy and multiple other things lately, most probably brought on by stress (this often happens at the end of a semester. I do my best to ward it off - meditation and gentle exercise, enforcement of a regular sleeping routine (HA!), etc, but it often doesn't work) and it's making me ever-more stressed since I'm having to take more and more time to rest and consequently less and less time to get my last two assessments done satisfactorily.


So, here I am.  a week tomorrow before everything is due and I'm doing my best to stay level-headed. I've pulled things together with three days to spare before (not that I like doing it), so with a week and a little help from my fellow students and friends, I think I should be okay. Luckily enough I was granted an extension when I asked since I'm on the disability services assistance list now - my fieldwork project was originally due on Monday, but I've now got til Friday. I have a presentation with Xin that day too, but I know we'll be fine.  We know our subject matter well and we're both pretty good at presentations, even if we haven't presented together before.


things that are keeping me happy lately: tea, new books arriving in the mail (yay Anne Bishop!), getting lovely little things from friends reminding me how strong I am, Xin's love, mum making soup for my lunch <3 (she makes AMAZING soup), thinking about the future and the possibility of moving out with friends and maybe finally realising my dream of becoming a full-time writer - this is my ideal and most-wished for job!, and, finally, Miss Brontesaurus being her adorable self.


sometimes optimism can become delusion, but I think my optimism can sometimes help me along when things seem completely bleak. It makes me miss the simple things, though. Like being able to go out with friends without having to count the energy cost later...


ps. the name of this blog is related to things that I've been thinking about lately that I haven't written about. perhaps I'll tell you another time. :P <3

Leave a Comment brontë, family, health, love, study, Xin

Very Personal Ads #3

And here we are again. This blog has made me appreciate how fast time goes by...

Btw, if you want more info on VPAs, please see here!

Thing One : LIFE!
Whatiwant.
Okay well. Lately I have been thinking about (having mini-freak outs about..) where I'm going with life and what I want to do with it.
The thing is, I'm mostly telling myself lately that most people don't know what they want out of life, and also that I've still got so much time to discover a wonderful Love. But can you really blame me for wanting some more of an inkling? I'm doing this degree in Psychology and I still don't know what I want out of it..

Howthiscouldhappen.
It could happen like a big bolt of lightning - like.. Wow! Yes! That's it!
Or it could be subtle and happen over time. All I know is that it will be something I love and doesn't feel like WORK.

Mycommitment.
I'll remember that some people never know what they want. And that life is beautiful regardless of whether I have a passion or not.
I'm extremely lucky right now. <3


I don't really have another thing right now... So I'll review what I mentioned last week..
Okay so my first thing is that I wanted warm fuzzies. I must say I've been doing pretty well with that. I've started my list, and I actively check in on myself now to make sure I'm okay. The warm fuzzies are easier to attain then.

The second thing was organisation. And I'm almost done with that, even though I didn't manage to get to the orientation. I've prettied up my lecture pad, I've attained a textbook, I know when my classes are and I just need to write my list of suggestions for better study. So yay! Thank you Universe!


Just a quick post on today then. It was slow, but I got to spend time with Xin, I got reading and browsing done and I helped my mum out as much as I could since she was having a lousy day. My thoughts are that I need to spend more time with Brontë since I haven't done that since Monday! I played with her a bit today, but she's growing up so quickly.. <3

Leave a Comment brontë, very personal ads, Xin