I'm going to put a big ask out there because I need to believe that things are going to get a bit easier for me. That may be selfish or what have you, but I'm okay with that.
I want my own place. Where I can live with Xin happily and we can support ourselves without too much drama.
I want a decent paying job that I can work from home, that doesn't tax my body or cause me to have mini panic attacks about twice a week.
I want to feel more supported and connected with people that I love. This is something that I'm working on, as I'm aware that I have a tendency to distance myself and not trust as easily as I once did.
I want to write. I want to feel passion for what I do again, and to feel that gentle happiness at being able to do something I'm actually good at, and love doing. I want my writing to be my meal ticket.
I know that every journey starts with a single step, and that most of this won't happen without my input, but right now I feel like I'm flogging a dead horse. I am putting one foot in front of the other and trying to focus on breathing. And that's all I can manage aside from disappearing into the fictional worlds of books.
love to all who read.
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books | chronic illness | lifestyle | wellbeing
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I know I've said this already baby, but we'll be okay no matter what happens, because we have each other. No matter what life brings, we'll be able to manage it.
ReplyDeleteAs for everything else... Pursue it with all your heart. Things absolutely WILL get better- it stands to reason that the longer you live, the higher your chances of life improving. Despair is folly because no one can tell what the future will bring, so never lose hope in a brighter future <3