I'm going to put a big ask out there because I need to believe that things are going to get a bit easier for me. That may be selfish or what have you, but I'm okay with that.
I want my own place. Where I can live with Xin happily and we can support ourselves without too much drama.
I want a decent paying job that I can work from home, that doesn't tax my body or cause me to have mini panic attacks about twice a week.
I want to feel more supported and connected with people that I love. This is something that I'm working on, as I'm aware that I have a tendency to distance myself and not trust as easily as I once did.
I want to write. I want to feel passion for what I do again, and to feel that gentle happiness at being able to do something I'm actually good at, and love doing. I want my writing to be my meal ticket.
I know that every journey starts with a single step, and that most of this won't happen without my input, but right now I feel like I'm flogging a dead horse. I am putting one foot in front of the other and trying to focus on breathing. And that's all I can manage aside from disappearing into the fictional worlds of books.
love to all who read.