Smallish Chat

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Hello friends :)

It's been a while, huh? Here, let me get you a cup of something nice, and please, have this seat over here. It is covered in cushions, I know - please just remove whatever you want. Mind the cat, though.

The last time I posted was back in November last year. Now we're heading towards February and my thoughts have been drifting towards things like communication, and how different bodies function, and such. It's been strange for me to go from someone who posted pretty regularly to someone who barely remembers that I used to write at all. It used to be that every time I had a relatively good day with a little bit of energy and wherewithal, I would be sitting down at my computer/laptop/with a bit of paper and pen and jotting something out that had been floating around in my head. Lately, though, it's been more a case of occasionally looking inside my mind and finding virtually nothing, except maybe a few dust-bunnies having an argument about whether I should eat chocolate or cheese next.

Honestly, to me, this sounds an awful lot like burnout. Or depression. Or perhaps both. My mood has swung a bit, and I have days of deep sadness or numbness, but mostly I think I've just not been well enough to even consider writing or being very creative with words. My brain just can't handle it too well. And adding Summer into the mix has just meant that I have had trouble remembering the days too well, or a conversation that I had with my loved ones recently.

So, am I abandoning my blog and my writing completely? No. The short answer to that is definitely no. The slightly longer answer is no, but.... I may not be doing anything with it for a while? Or my writing may be extremely sporadic? For someone that desperately wanted to be published before, I can still notice that dream in me, just waiting at the back of my mind. But, at the moment, I find that I need to focus on just being me. 

And I think that's enough for now.

Love to all who read.

1 comment:

  1. *picks up the cat and settles her on her lap, stroking her gently until she dozes off again*

    Darling. You are doing perfectly. You have no obligation to write unless you feel like it, unless it fills you with light and joy. You don't owe writing to anyone, and those who love and support you will love and support you regardless - it's not conditional on how many words you submit in your weekly report. You are the best Bethwyn I know, and you are doing beautifully.


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