Thoughts

Hello friends. It's been a bit of a while since I popped on here and posted anything. I'm honestly not apologetic about that, as I think I've been needing some time to just be, and I'm not sure that period is over yet. 

I turned 30 at the beginning of March, and it was a quiet but lovely event. I was away on holiday for my birthday - the first time I've ever done that - and I have to say, it was lovely. It does feel a little as if my birthday has disappeared within the mess of what has come after, and as someone who has finally acknowledged that my birthday is quite important to me and I love to celebrate it (I don't always have the energy for one big event, so I tend to try and stretch it out over the course of many little events in a month), it was tough to feel like I just had a day in which to celebrate (which I really enjoyed, despite a really bad migraine in the middle of it). I'm still sorting out my feelings surrounding turning 30 and such, but I think it's okay to take my time with that.

I think part of the reason that I kind of stopped posting on a lot of my accounts (YouTube, Instagram (though I'm back on there now), here, my Patreon, etc.) is because I started to feel like there were just too many voices in the world, all saying what they thought and trying to swing people to their way of thinking. I didn't want to be that kind of person, and I still don't. I am still not sure what this means for myself, but being a little more quiet is helping me feel a bit calmer - I don't have to have an opinion on everything, and that's kind of wonderful to realise. (Though I do have to acknowledge the irony of stating what I think about people always telling you what they think. Ah, human brains. Weird things.)

I'm not sure where I'm going at the moment. And I think I'm okay with that. Everything is a little topsy-turvy for the world, and I just want to rest in who I am for a little while. I don't know if that means I will be back to posting regularly or not, or if I will put any of the thoughts/ideas I've had into action, but for now, I am waving hello to you across the abyss. Hope you're doing okay.

Love to all who read.

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