On letting go of plans.

Friday, May 29, 2015
Once again, hello there! This is me updating old posts so you can read them, because for some reason I kept starting posts in the past month but never getting them to the actual 'public view' stage.
The below post is slightly more recent, about a week old, and it was written over a day or so as there were many interruptions while I was writing it. I have also added in some additional stuff here and there to give you some more context and to try and make everything flow a little better.
This is all in the spirit of trying to be less of a perfectionist with my blog posts, because whenever I do that, things don't get published at all! And that means my blog just looks empty and abandoned, which is not nice.
Anyway, here is the post!:

Oh, I know I have written about this before. And I know I will probably continue to write about it for as long as I live - it is a difficult topic sometimes and it can be hard to remember at the crucial moment. But it is something that I always try to relearn (once I remember that is a thing).

What I'm talking about here is the need to let go of expectations and plans. This is something that comes up a lot for me, due to my health and also to my occasional tendency to stress out about study and things like that (I am always working on it, but sometimes it sneaks up on me...).

Lately I have been going back to my style of starting the day with 3 MITs (Most Important Tasks) and trying to get them done. For the most part, this works really well and I tend to get all three done and then some. Sometimes, I have to move one (or part of one if it is something bigger than usual) to the next day to get it done. No big deal, can do.
But then sometimes I get up with the best of intentions and find that, after an hour of trying to settle into the day, I am just not capable of getting anything done. This is a difficult thing to realise, as I feel like I am letting myself down by not completing things the way I had planned.

But then I remember - let go let go let go. I realise that in the grand scheme of things, if my body is demanding rest I ought to give it that opportunity. After all, I am kind of fond of this body and I don't want to let it fall in a heap. And I am liable to do that, on occasion.

I had to take a small hiatus while writing this, as I was then hit with some of the worst cystitis I have had. I could no longer focus. Talk about learning to let go!

I am back on antibiotics again, and I am finding that I just need to focus on breathing a lot more. I am making a bit of an effort to return to meditation, I suppose in a way to gain more control over what seems to be an uncontrollable situation, but also, conversely, to get better at letting go of control. As I have mentioned before, cystitis is something that completely messes me up, and I have trouble even thinking straight when it descends upon me. I am having to remind myself to relax and let go a lot more lately, which is simultaneously really difficult and annoying, and also kind of a good practice to get into.

Anyway, what are your thoughts on this? Do you feel like it is easy to let go of certain things but not others? Please chat with me in the comments.

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