update Jan 20th 2013

Sunday, January 20, 2013

I haven't written for twenty days for a variety of reasons. One of these reasons is because so much has been happening that I have only been journalling to keep up with it. Another is that I have turned over a new leaf, and am staying out of my head a bit more - I am not over-analysing things anymore. That is but two reasons of many.

I was in Singapore for eight days at the start of January - spending lovely time with Xin and seeing the sights. Singapore was beautiful, and, it seems, just what I needed. The land there is so lush and tropical, and the people are friendly and often quite funny. I fell in love with sugar cane juice, Singapore Zoo, little Western-themed cafes, and quaint little bookstores. The very first photo I took in Singapore was of a cat napping under a motorbike in an alleyway near our hotel room.
Singapore got me thinking, and, as I was already in a state of transition, it helped me to move through some changes that needed to happen. When I came back, I was terrified of going back in to old habits and patterns, but then I realised that I have always been strong enough to be who I AM - I just needed to believe in myself.
I am relearning that every day this year.

2013, so far, has been about strengthening some friendships while others change; remembering to be grateful for the little things; stepping more into who I am and who I am ready to become; becoming more spiritual and more open about that spirituality; and changing my surroundings to suit who I am even more. (And, apparently, using lots of semi-colons semi-incorrectly.)

At this moment, I am sitting in my bedroom, on my bed. I have recently rearranged this room to suit me more, and my bed has become more of a nest than ever. I find it pretty much the cosiest thing I could hope for. On my TV, Cardcaptor Sakura is playing - my go-to cold and flu series (I am dealing with a slight summer cold lately). I have just finished the first edit of my first complete novel, and have written 600 words on a new one. 
As ever, I am feeling cheerful despite my physical pain and discomfort. I am grateful for my partner, and dearest love, Xin, who was here only three hours ago. I am grateful for friends that have reminded me of my own inner loveliness, and the fact that friendship is a truly beautiful thing when done in a loving manner. I am grateful for my family - who I now draw closer than ever around me in the wake of our recent losses, and with the prospect of more to come.

I see, more than ever, that I am truly thankful for the abundance of gifts I have received in my life, and I look forward to what is to come.

Love to all who read.

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