Friday, September 25, 2015

Musings: Poetry and Postings, Movings and Musts.

I just wanted to sit down and write a quick post about things that have happened and are about to happen.

So, many poetry postings, along with one short story! I am really loving putting my work out there. I don't know if people are enjoying things, and I am desperately trying not to ask for permission to do these things (I have it already, I just get confused sometimes) or say anything silly and back-tracky like 'they're silly' or 'they're just works in progress!'. Not doing that has been really really difficult, but I am proud of myself for the not-doing.

What does this mean for my postings? Well, I want to keep going. But they may stop. More likely they will become less frequent - maybe once or twice a week. Maybe I will have a designated day of postings! This is all stuff to be thought of.

Other things I have been thinking about are my current studies - I have almost finished my writing degree, and have one more unit to go. Unfortunately it is a unit I am not much enjoying - one that I had to drop out of last year because of expectations that felt not-so-good to me. But it is a core unit, so here I am again. My tutor is so far quite understanding and helpful, so I am grateful for that, but I still found myself getting stressed out about this unit and its workload. And then my partner, Xin, asked me what level I aim my writing at, or what level I thought I was writing at, and I said I was always aiming for an 80+ out of 100. He made me realise that I was kind of operating on almost full capacity for this unit, even when I didn't like it and I actually just have to focus on passing. My grade is quite good at the moment, so I don't really need to always be trying so hard.

Guys, I hope it doesn't paint me as a complete goodie-two-shoes if I say that this doesn't really occur to me very often. Not try hard? Wut? I am still doing the coursework, but I am thinking I won't throw everything I have at every assignment. I'm going to work on the surge of guilt that I feel upon writing that O____O


Finally, in other news, I just wanted to mention that I will be moving out of home over this weekend - I am finally moving in with my dear love, Xin. It is our first place together, and we have found a little rental place that is very cute. So, just a forewarning, there may not be very many posts for a little while until I get the internet up and running at the new place (hoping that is relatively painless...) and also to let you know that I might be a bit emotional in some upcoming posts. This is a huge change for me, and I am worried about how well I will adapt. Some parts of me think it will be totally fine, and other parts are kind of unsure and a teensy bit panicky. I am creating space for them all.


Sending much love to all who read.

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