Hello lovely people,
I am very sorry that I have been only intermittently writing for the past few weeks. Sometimes I manage to get some posts up for you, and other times I have trouble remembering to do so.
To be honest, the last month or so has been really difficult. I have been really sick at times, and really stressed at others (sometimes those two have overlapped). I often feel like I am being tested in some way and, while I think I am passing these tests quite well, they just keep coming.
I have had multiple health appointments, and lots of emails and talks with uni. Things are being processed, organised, and hoped for. I am trying to keep on top of things whilst also stopping myself from falling into a heap at every available opportunity (it doesn't help a lot of the time).
I am struggling at times, but I am also really proud of myself for the action I have been taking to support myself and others around me.
I have been meditating every night for about two weeks now, which feels great.
I have started making a point of doing my full teeth-cleaning routine before bed for a week or so, too - including brushing, flossing, and mouth-wash - and that feels great, too.
I have been keeping regular appointments with friends for gaming, which brings the fun back in to my life, whilst also giving myself time to study.
I am relearning lessons, and trying new things. I am stepping up when I am needed, and resting when I am not.
Yes, I am still scared of the future if I think about it. But that's okay. I still get angry about being sick so often and having to deal with things that I don't think anyone should have to deal with. I still get angry at other people who deliberately don't understand my or Xin's situation and how hard we are working to be good people. But that's okay, too. I can let that go (sometimes :P) and I am still me.
While I am hoping for an improvement and some answers with my health, it's okay if that doesn't happen. I will figure it out. I just want to continue being me.
Love to all who read.
P.S. Hopefully I will have some more blog posts up over the weekend.