Monday, September 9, 2013

Stories from everyday life.

A photo taken by me during a quiet walk.

I have been struggling this morning with a few different things. It is fair to say that, after a weekend full of migraines and generally feeling sorry for my poor body and everything it's trying to cope with, I tend to put all my hopes into one basket - the basket of 'I will get better and be able to finish all the things that need to be done today'.
In my logical brain, it stands to reason that if I have been unable to do much of anything all weekend, on Monday things shall be bright and new and I will suddenly find myself with boundless energy and the motivation needed to complete all the things I have put off while being sick.
The reality is that I am still so weak, and still so sore and tired from the weekend that I can barely cope with digesting breakfast, let alone picking up where I left off on Friday.

I argued with myself for most of the morning about whether to ask for a one day extension on an assignment. I kept reasoning and reasoning with myself, until I realised this: I was thinking of this extension like it was a resource in short supply. That is, if I were to ask for this extension, I would lose the possibility of having another extension further on down the track. When I 'truly needed it'. And I realised that this story I was telling myself just didn't add up.
Regardless of the fact that I feel slightly better than I did over the weekend, or the fact that I could probably push myself to finish my assignment (though, perhaps, at the cost of my health again), I decided to give myself a little bit of a buffer. A little wiggle room so that I might be able to give myself one of the things I truly need right now - space to recover.

I will continue to look into the stories I am telling myself each day, and see if I can find where these stories are detrimental to my health and wellbeing.

2 comments:

  1. What profound awareness you have of the unstated but unrealistic assumptions that guide us. I'm so impressed and proud of you.

    ReplyDelete

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