happy spring equinox! (southern hemisphere...)
The thing is, I guess I just got used to resting a lot more than other people. That's not to say that I don't still react really badly sometimes - to be honest, the past week has seen me disappear into what I call 'zombie depression mode' more than once - but I am capable of accepting the fact that I need rest more readily.
And it feels like the Universe is sending me a message here, and I really don't want to be the super deaf person that ends up tripping over the things they need to know (literally).
What message am I talking about? Well, let's look at what has been happening...
- I don't generally have weird dreams very often, but in the past two weeks I have had several nightmares plus one dream where there were two versions of me - an original and a clone who was a slave. And - get this - I WAS THE CLONE SLAVE. I wasn't even the original version of myself.
- Each time I manage to convince myself that I'm better (even though my body is trying to tell me otherwise) something crazy will happen that will physically force me to stay at home instead of going to class, or to a concert I had been looking forward to - for example, the Friday morning I got ready for my tute. I was perfectly fine, managed to do all my chores and get myself ready, and then ten minutes before I had to leave? Throwing up. Or the time I got ready for my lecture and then a weather warning flashed up on my computer, because the winds were going around 60km/hour. And could rise to 125km/hour.
- This weekend, when I convinced myself that going to the beach during a really overcast windy day would get me some fresh air, which would make me feel better, and then I got SPECTACULARLY SUNBURNT on my face and one of my hands.
- Today, when I managed to do one small part of study and then had to take a two hour nap to recover...
A lot of this could be seen as wishful thinking, weak links, or overactive anxiety (let's not go to that last one right now :D), but it comes down to this: I know that I am not functioning very well lately. And I intend to look after myself as much as I can (while still completing study) until I feel more capable again.
And that, my friends, is why you get a late and confusing blog post. We will most likely be back to our scheduled programming next week. Love to all who read.