Oh unknowable Universe!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Stormy sunset

After I wrote my post on lacking community the other day, I had an interesting experience.
Due to new health symptoms needing to be investigated, I went in to have some blood tests done on Monday. This hasn't really happened for awhile, but it's not something unusual for me.

Now, let me point out that I don't have a problem with needles. I used to have two needles a week, so I was kind of used to it. This time, however, something happened. The nurse couldn't get any blood out of my arm, so she tried a different kind of needle. I started to feel nauseous, nearly fainted, and then was forced to lie down. I went to the doctor's office by car, alone. I was advised to not drive until I felt a bit better.

Normally, I would wait around by myself, then eventually go home and cancel the rest of my day and stay at home, alone, feeling sorry for myself and guilty about having to cancel everything I had planned. This time, I was very happily surprised. And very grateful.

I ran into some dear friends at the doctor's office, who watched out for me after my near-fainting episode. They also walked me back to my car and chatted to me until I was feeling better. (Thank you so much to them, it meant so much - particularly since you were both unwell! Thank you for your kindness.)

After I got home, I noticed I was shaking and had broken into a cold sweat. My stomach was hurting quite awfully. I had quite a bit that I wanted to do that day, including a much anticipated trip to see my cousin and her new puppy. I was sad that I was going to have to cancel it, but as one of my friends had said earlier that day 'don't be stubborn just because you have things to do, your health comes first' or something to that effect. I called my cousin and... she was completely fine. She told me to feel better soon and we'd catch up soon (turned out to be Tuesday morning ^_~).

I then contacted Xin, and he was equally amazing. He changed his plans and came over to my house, bearing dohnuts as a gift. He spent time sitting with me, making me feel better and generally being lovely.

I guess what this has all said to me is that I DO have a community, it's just that they are slightly more distant and harder to access than I had envisioned. But, every now and then, I am truly amazed at the amount and love and care that can hold me when I feel defeated. And I am so grateful, because that love and care is what helps me to build myself back up again. To remember that, while I have been sick for awhile, that doesn't mean I can't still enjoy the little things in life.

Do you have people in your 'extended community' that make you feel supported and joyful? Do you feel that there might be a link missing in your community? Can you restore this or renew it in some way?


  1. What a wonderful read. I'm so glad you feel this way!

    1. I do! Sometimes I just need the Universe to remind me, is all ^_~

  2. <3

    It's ailin btw. :) I shall be stalking you from now on!


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