Thursday, March 21, 2013
CFS and Writing (and rambling).
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome can make even the simplest things difficult. I feel that I shouldn't be surprised that it has prevented me from going to my classes in my third week of my new degree, and yet I found myself frustrated anyway.
But I'm not upset now. I'm okay with this. Honestly, I would prefer to be in class. I love my classes, and I love that I'm finally following my dream of becoming a writer.
And yet, I have had to think about the quite probable eventuality that my illness may always attempt to stand in the way of my writing. And I don't want to fight it - I would rather live in harmony with it. Because, honestly, it has become a big part of who I am. If I was ever to get better, I would have to reconsider the way I see myself - confronting, to say the least.
I have been thinking about writing a book about my experience with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have written a series over on Tune In Not Out (a youth blog/website) that has apparently become quite popular in the year or so that it's been up. I feel that I have something to offer the world through my writing - and, luckily, writing from home (in this case, on my laptop in bed..) is something I can work through. Most days.
I have always wanted to get a fairly decent readership on this blog, and it's something I'm still working towards, but my illness prevents me from getting any real work done sometimes. I'd like to take this opportunity to send big thanks and hugs out to all those people that have been coming by my blog - either regularly or sporadically. I really appreciate you reading what I have to write. Someday, I hope that you might start commenting and giving me some feedback. But, baby steps. :)
Despite being quite ill over the past couple of days, I have been able to keep my joy alive. Favourite things like Cardcaptor Sakura and tea have comforted me, and dreams of going to Japan (hopefully in the next year or so!) are very exciting. I'm still enjoying my course, and completing the readings is no longer a chore. I find everything so engaging and fun. And my loved ones have been so supportive, as always, despite sudden changes in plans and such.
I cannot express how grateful I am for the small and large kindnesses in my life. I am so happy.
Love to all who read.
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