Okay, yes. Sometimes it's ridiculously hard to have faith. You can feel like every good thing in your life is suddenly going sour - or perhaps the bad is starting to outweigh the good.
I have felt that way. More so in the last couple of days. But I am still putting effort and love into seeing the good things.
For example, on Tuesday, when it was too stormy for me to fulfill my work obligations, and I spent forty minutes searching for parking just so I could peruse the Save The Children Book Sale at UWA. I ended up going home, having a panic attack in the car on the way back, and realising when I got home that I'd been trying to operate through the beginnings of a migraine which ended up being a really terrible one which only just went away after taking my heaviest painkiller - which almost always causes some bad side-effects. There was lots of stress, pain, and emotional craziness.
And yet... there was also the sweetness of the people around me. Xin, who supported me through the panic attack and the stress of looking for things and realising I wasn't able to meet my work requirements. He gave me cuddles, made me tea. He was his wonderful self and even went and got me Grill'd for lunch. He is amazing.
My mum, who encouraged me to look after myself, gave me a neck massage to help with my head pain, and getting me drinks. :3
My dad has been amazingly encouraging about my taking a new route, and both my parents have been great about my condition getting worse and offering me what support they can.
There are small things that can create beauty in each day. Like getting things in the mail (I really adore this), reading magazines that I love filled with informative articles that inspire me, reading in general!, tea (when I can drink it), and hearing from friends (sometimes even seeing them). Little messages from friends that encourage me to keep going regardless of how hard it's been lately. And...dreaming. Dreaming of the future that I want, the future that I adore.
Yes, I am still filled with anxiety and stress. But I have faith that things will get better. Things will fall into place. I have faith.