let's get started.
because we've gotta keep on swimmin'
the bad stuff.
old pain. old issues.
they were just popping up all over the place. hanging around.
not knowing who to talk to.
and many people not having the time to talk. not knowing what to say - how to articulate what was happening.
not good ones. extended pain. bad fortune cookie.
mostly alone. but also in front of people. including someone I had just met about ten minutes beforehand. so much hard.
almost perfect strangers pointing out stuff.
that I didn't realise I was holding on to. that I didn't realise I hadn't worked through yet.
repress repress repress. and not realising I was doing it.
being so sick I couldn't move much.
and trying to remain true to me during that.
always feeling cold even when I'm apparently supposed to be sweating.
the good stuff.
having that and drawing strength from it.
like having a car that I love. Tea. Aoife (my blue dinosaur heatpack). New musics. kind messages from people.
happiness in people close to me expressing awe in how I'm going, and pride in the things I do to cope. and how I always keep going.
this has also been coming from complete strangers lately. beautiful.
so much! love!
perfect in my imperfections.
always moving forward.
yay. oh wow. I have these flashes of feelings of "wow I could actually make things work and become this amazing thing that I want." giving myself permission to want these things, and be okay when I feel discouraged and unsure.
and trying new flavours! oh my goodness I love bubble tea. in fact, want some. :3
trying new things.
because I can and that's amazing.
Xin: you are amazing. and I feel so amazingly lucky to have you. love.
on that note, love to all those who read. :)