Friday Chicken: On A Sunday.

Sunday, June 24, 2012
This week has been interesting. And difficult. And lovely. And it may seem odd to be summing up on a Sunday (Sunday's have always been sort of rest-days for me - preparing for the new week), it seems right at this moment.

the hard stuff.

drain and sick.
it was really hard getting through work while my body seems to be regressing back to two-and-a-half-years-ago-me. it's been so long since I've had serious stomach pain that I kind of forgot what it was like. now I remember. it sucks.

oh wow. so many nights of waking up two or three times during the night and then waking up in the morning and feeling like I hadn't slept at all.

emotional drain.
feeling lost and abandoned and so many kinds of ick. dealing with issues that I thought I'd left behind long ago. having to find my boundaries again and figure out if they'd been crossed or if I was over-reacting. so much hard.

too hard. go away.

dislike. the green-eyed monster is hardly ever a friend to me.

the good stuff.

finding solace.
in a place that I had found solace before. a book that I have re-read so many times I'm a little unsure what number I'm on. And it's new and beautiful, but still so reassuring like an old friend who JUST GETS YOU. I feel so happy being surrounded by this book's happiness and embrace.

re-grasping my opinions on and use of time. realising that going to bed early can be uh-mazing and that taking time out to just rest is still as important as ever.

trusting in the wonderful link between me and Xin, allowing myself to be weak in front of him instead of just keeping it in and being grumpy-Beth (even I don't like her). sharing  my fears.

[silent retreat] - this is so very close to my heart that it's difficult for me to articulate.

from the most wonderful places. making me feel loved and powerful.

I actually didn't realise that I'd missed it! And yet, today I did lots and my body went 'yes! more please!' I'm being very careful not to overdo it though - the ramifications could be catastrophic! but right now I'm enjoying the after-workout glow ^^

I met Christopher Paolini and got him to sign Xin's book!! And I met Juliet Marillier (one of my FAVOURITE fantasy writers) and bought her new book and she signed it!!! I feel proud. <3

that's all for now. this  week will be full of cotton wool balls for me to fall on - as much as I'm able. I have organised to have a a few presents from past-me arrive this week (all being well) and I will remind myself as often as possible that rest is good. and that there are ways to take the pressure off even when I'm working ^_^ <3 love to all who read!!


  1. I love you. You are mature and full of wonder, growing every day. I hope we can do more exercise together soon.

    1. Thank you so much. Your words fill me with joy and light :)

  2. *lovelovelove* I am sorry I missed you at Supanova - I was busy volunteering but I am glad you had a lovely time and got things signed :) I am so sorry that your health is so ick at the moment, I hope it eases and that you feel much better soon. I am hoping to catch up with you sometime soon. (You and Xin both).

    1. It was quite lovely! Just sooo busy! I'm glad you're still volunteering ^_^ was it fun??
      We shall definitely catch up in the future :3 >snugs<


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