I have been hurting. I have been torn. I have been trying so hard to make things 'right' when all they felt is wrong. I have tripped and fell and wondered if it was worth getting up again.
And now I realise - this is all a period of transition. I am stuck inside my too-tight cocoon, wondering what's going on, trying to figure out why I feel so alone, why I just want to lash out at those that care about me. Wondering if there's something wrong with me, and if I'll get through all the challenges in my path.
But, what if, all of this is just something I have to get through to reach the glorious newness? That beautiful transition to becoming someone who can fly through the air, spreading love and whatever else is needed. Because I followed the path as it fell before me, because I took the challenges and made my choices, and because I knew I was so much stronger than this.
Because I trust that none of this is in vain.
If I could do one thing right now, it would be to reach out to me-who-is-suffering and just say "enough. you are enough. anything extra is amazing." I want to write her a letter and just make sure she knows how much she is loved, how wonderful she is, and how her dreams aren't unattainable. To show her that the people around her are doing the best they can to make her see how wonderful she is, and that they aren't trying to shut her out - they just don't know how to handle what she's going through anymore then she does.
Love, you are not alone. You are worthy of doing what is RIGHT for you. You are enough.'