So I'm feeling a little thrown right now. A little blah. Because, as if getting out of bed wasn't hard enough right now (seriously, so difficult this morning. Just want to sleep for many days right now), but something has tentatively poked me and made me bleed while I'm at work. That might sound a bit odd so let me explain...
Basically, I finally managed to get out of bed and muster up some excitement about what the day is going to be like. I'm at work all day, but that's fine. I like my work. Especially since today I got to redecorate my little office a bit (things from Typo, photos of the two lovely boys in my life <3, less old things that just look old and worn and like they need to retire). My work is filled with things that I like, such as: sitting down lots, making tea, answering emails, opening up mail, organising, and the (very occasional) answering of phones [I don't like talking on the phone at the best of times, but this phone rings about twice per week on average, which I love]. Oh and also! A lunchroom where I can read while I eat my lunch :3 Reading during lunchbreaks is beautiful!
Anyway. I won't go into it too much, but I just received an email that contained a lot of swearing and a little bit of abuse. Mostly aimed at the company I work for, but some at me. I understand that they're angry about something that we're tentatively working on, and that I'm just a scapegoat for that anger, but I'm not hugely accustomed to being abused (thankfully) and I am emotional and sensitive enough that even an email made me feel quite upset. I am okay with being upset. (That surprised me.) I'm not upset as I expected myself to be, but it's enough that the headache I've been trying to get rid of for five days has come back again. I, personally, understand why people get angry. I understand why they use that anger to fuel their passion and drive, etc. I get angry sometimes, but not as often as I used to. In fact, compared to others, I'd say I get angry quite rarely - I tend to get depressed or sad instead. I tend towards the melancholy, rather than the fiery. And when I get angry, I try to sit with it and allow it to transform into something that is usable to me. This is just the way I have to deal with things. And, because of that tendency toward the melancholy, it's easy for me to note when I'm getting upset about something. This email triggered that.
To begin with, I wondered if other people would let it get to them or if they would just ignore it and move on. Perhaps I am weak? Perhaps I should be able to deal with this better? But I don't mind. Others can deal with it their way, I will deal with it mine. :)
Okay, that's the end of my little rant. Back to work~~ <3