Sunday, December 11, 2011

writing about the same thing.

oh well hi! I'm writing about emotions again and it's tow days later than my last post! :D <----I wish I felt as happy as this fellow about all this XD

This post will be more about relationships. It seems that I have a tendency to form insecure attachments to certain people in my life. I am unsure why I do this, or how I started doing it, but here I am. I get addicted, I get worried that I will lose them, I start trying not to care whether I lose them or not, I sometimes even hang around for a bit if I feel they're treating me badly. (Which they're probably bound to do. I tend to act like a creature that Liz Gilbert referred to as herself - a mixture between a labrador retriever and a limpet.. Ridiculously friendly and clingy.) I have tried to break this cycle. I have blamed others, and I have blamed myself. More often than not it has been myself that I have blamed. Sometimes the source of my addiction will try to help me. They'll try to make me see that I'm a wonderful person. And I know I am, it's just it's hard to feel that and to KEEP knowing it when I feel like a creature of some people's nightmares. Why do I form these insecure attachments to some people and not others? And WHY do I get addicted at all?

These questions (and a few more that I feel need answering) are why I have decided to go back to seeing a counsellor next year. Writing my blog posts on depression and anxiety over at tuneinnoutout have really indicated that I'm doing great with my depression, but that I could always use a bit more assistance. Sometimes things just really go to shit for me, and not for any particular reason aside from THEY CAN.

And with that, dear friends and lurkers, I am going to go and lie down with some books. >rubs eyes< >sighs<

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