VPA: so very exhausted...

Friday, August 5, 2011
Again, thanks to Havi of The Fluent Self for creating such a wonderful, fun thing.

Thing One: More.
What I want: I have asked for assistance with this before, but I need a little more help, time, and space to be able to move through it. The issue is my relationship with money, and how I tend to use it as a way of distracting myself from uncomfortable emotions. I would like I better relationship with money, and perhaps some more gentle thinking and love for myself and my stuff.

How this could happen: I could do some research. I could talk to Slightly-Future-Me (another Havi technique), and work on meeting myself where I am. I could interview myself to start understanding if there is a line I get to that pushes me to retail therapy, and what, if I can, these uncomfortable feelings are.

My commitment: To meditate on this and on myself. To maintain kindness towards myself while I talk this out, and to make myself open to the possibilities. To be gentle.

Thing Two: Macaron-a-ron-a-ron-a-ron.
What I want: To eat Macarons! To savour them and to feel happy for getting them. To bake them!! (maybe) To have more books on them to look through!! Basically, I want more Macarons in my life. Yup.

How this could happen: I could finally get some from the city, I could get another library book on the subject! Someone could gift me with something macaron related! It could happen...

My commitment: To be okay with NOT getting macarons. And to keep looking at photos of the delightful little jewels anyway. :P

Thing Three: Rest.
What I want: My recent run-in with having to work very hard at a group assignment which didn't seem to be going anywhere showed me that I'm not taking as much time out for myself to rest lately. I'd like to get into a habit of resting everyday, even if it's just for a 10 minute meditation, so I can keep my energy reserves in tip-top condition. This also means commitment to earlier nights and better sleep, and perhaps better diet..

How this could happen: I could process the process and do some scribblings on it. I could make the commitment to doing better things for my body, in balance with keeping up with study. Perhaps some super wonderful technique or new tactic could suggest itself to me that would help me stay motivated. who knows!

My commitment: To be nice to myself and my body. To use this as a new learning curve, a new project. To be excited about the possibilities!

Update since last time~~
I wanted some inspiration and such relating to my next route of study, and I got some!! A book lent to me by my darling Xin rekindled some passion and curiosity in me in an area which I was a little unsure of before. I'm now moving ahead with plans, and, hopefully, will get into the course I'd like.
I also wanted  some giggling space for the new thing on my mind, and I got some :) In many different forms!! I've also been given even MORE than I asked for, and have laid to rest some anxieties and such relating to the new thing, while still feeling giggly and lovely about it :)

It's so lovely seeing things going ahead!!


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