Okay, so I haven't written in... ten days? Wow. that's a bit.. hmm. And the last post was so depressing too! Contrary to the date on it, it was actually written very early in the morning of the First of April. Just in case you wanted to know! XD
Okay, so let this be a Ten Day Sum-up Chicken.
bad stuff.
So much ick and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and unsure moments. I was having trouble finding where I was going anymore, and why I couldn't do things that 'normal' people can do. It was hard and horrible.
Sick. So much sick. CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) 'attacks' (because that's all I can call them) of feeling so heavy that driving seemed ridiculously dangerous. Walking did too. TONSILLITIS. O.o first time I've ever had that and it seems to like me a lot. Flus and colds and sickness ick and bleurgh of all kinds.
Misunderstandings with people about why I can't do stuff. Feeling guilty for no real reason. Feeling worthless and helpless and terrible.
Having to go out when I feel AWFUL. Having to take more painkillers than I want to..
good stuff.
I bought many things that helped! Firstly, the Monster Manual and Colouring Book - so lovely. I have yet to do colourings, but the Manual has helped me chat to my monsters more effectively. It has calmed me muchly. (Thankyou Havi <3 - The Fluent Self Blog)
BOOKS. I have purchased many secondhand books! I read a book about reading! (One of my favourite kinds. It was comforting and lovely). Books about addictions (depressing but beautiful). The book about addiction led me to buy a beautiful copy of the Tao te Ching, which I love already. It requires more thought and deliberation than I first expected, but I still love the sense of calm it gives me.
My new bag! This was the most retail-therapy style thingamy. But it is beautiful It's a Bluebird bag! I love Bluebird bags... And it's entirely synthetic, but looks like leather, and I carry it everywhere and it feels like it's part of me and I love that! Plus it has room for my wallet, all my medication, my books (don't feel safe without one!) and my little book of musings and favourite pen :D AND LOLLIES. It has lollies and biscuits in it. Every bag (aside from maybe those belonging to someone who doesn't like or can't eat biscuits and lollies) should have them!
Friendships and chats and tea and loves! Unexpected and beautiful chats with J-kitty, and T!! Yay T. I haven't spoken to T properly in awhile! And catching up with K and C. AND WRITING! I started writing again. Yay!
And new haircut! So short, but feels right. Feels me-ish. :) Feels good.
Okay that's enough. Today is a grumpy day and I need rest. I desperately do. But I will be studying in bed. And reading more if my eyes start working. >blah< BLAH. <3
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