Thursday, April 21, 2011

tired of wanting.

I am so. so. so. tired of wanting. wanting more from some people in relationships. wanting less/more space/more compassion from others. wanting to know how to approach these situations to lessen or prevent any awkwardness. wanting to know myself better and to understand my emotions. wanting intimacy. wanting love. wanting connection.

i'm also tired of material wants. i am tired of being scared that i'll never get anywhere in life because of my health and my lack of saving abilities. i am tired of feeling out-of-place even when i'm right where i want to be.
i am tired of wanting to figure out people, and how i can get close to them. i'm tired of wanting them to reach out, to make an effort, to CARE. i am tired of wanting the pain to go away. i am tired of wanting something better, but also wanting space to figure that out in what feels like a crowded world.

i am tired of not knowing what i want; knowing what i want and not having it.
the majority of my needs are met. where is the want to go?

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